When “The Disorder” Came Into Your Life Gaining weight is a disaster for girls, it is until things that matters happen

Cervical disc disorder with radioculopathy, a term that I got written in a piece of paper of medical test. A strange and very unfamiliar medical jargon that flew into my head, push me to really understand what happened to my body inside. That very strange, *sounds intellect jargon knocked my brain to lid-up the bulb and get real understanding about what just happened.

However, I was being immersed with a very strong sensation all over my limb that this is something serious, I was still having a hard time to digest it all in. Instead of digest those diagnosis result, I was too drawn into “The Disorder” thing, it was like a phrase that haunts me, fill-up all the neural synapses in my brain and surpassed my consciousness then lid-up the bulb.

Ihave disorder….what?”, that’s the respond that I got after reading the diagnosis paper. And the very next second was a sensation of repelling those ideas and a notion like “It is not happening to me… , I don’t deserve it, I am still young and I don’t want that strange medical jargon in me”.

I was having difficulties to accept fact that just happened to me, something ugly that apparently part of myself. My Truth.

Fortunately, I could gain my composure in few minutes later and it helps me to went to the doctor room and facing on gaining my education about my health. In short, the doctor explained to myself about what’s going on under this flesh of mine.

About the very delicate nerve that is pinched around my cervical neck disk that luckily not the end the world. She did not terrorized me with another scary options that I need to take. She said that this is serious, very serious but no need to panic. All that I need to do now is embracing the option to heal by taking care of myself and really discipline on it.

Leaving the doctor’s room I was still trying to process everything, short education about neural system and health, about life style that I should adopt from now on. All those big chunks, med-course was tucked-in into my brain, I was digesting really slow and carefully about that.*And I was digesting all those thing, whilst still felt the pain on my neck and my back.

After sat-down and re-read my diagnosis, I sort of like got another angle, “It shouldn’t be a turmoil, I could turn it into a good story”. By having acceptanceof the fact of myself, I got my consciousness back. I did re-gain my logic to resolve the problem and find the way to turn it into power.

I remember that by accepting the fact of our self that is a huge step to make a change about that. My neural health condition is part of me that is ugly but I have options in this, I can take it as an invitation to get-out from my old life style that I did not realize is not healthy to a new habit, new lifestyle that is more empowering. I got my epiphany.

This revelation that I got when I walk down the hospital corridor led me to remember Brendon Burchard and his lectures about “The Charged Life”. I was brought back to the knowledge that he’s the one who got brain injury and still got-back stronger and more powerful. Powerful enough to make me felt empowered every time I read his blog-post or his speech.

It is funny how our consciousness work, I can turned from panicking human being into full of curiosity creature that tried to cope with pain. And then I realized something for sure, I did gain my composure back, once I surrender. The moment where I accept what happened and willing to see as it is, even though is seems ugly. And that’s the time when I knew that I know better and then that notion give me power to do better with my life.

My epiphany ended up with something funny. It was when I remember the stupid panic that I got when I gain more weight or when I heard some girl complaining about gaining up some weight. I did not realize that gaining up some weight is something that could be grateful, compared to my current situation.

I do understand now the concept of taking-it for granted, and I do understand now the importance of having an acceptance of life. Now, it’s all about turning it into power. Just like the song of The Script, “Turning Pain Into Power”, That’s my song from now on.

Thank you reading it, I hope you get insight.


My “Aha-Moment” of Diminishing Return

When Economics (Science) Amplify My Belief in Spiritual Concept

For people who gain an economics background, marginal utilities and diminishing return concept is not an “alien” word. In fact it is a common words. For us (economics scholar), understanding and intellectualizing those two notions help us shaping a formula to maximizing welfare or benefit in any economic activities. For me, it gives a source of validation to amplify my belief regarding an altruism act and the choice to not to choose greediness.

A Little Glance of Knowledge

Source : https://personalexcellence.co/

So what are those words actually? Marginal utilities are the additional satisfaction that one person get after adding up one more product. For example, the satisfaction to consume one bar of chocolate is equal to 2 ❤ (satisfaction) for Miss “A”, if we she consume more and then her satisfaction will increase until it hit a certain point. Assume that, she consume ten bars of chocolate then the satisfaction will diminish. Diminishing return, the sweet soothing taste of chocolate won’t give her any more satisfaction, it is diminishing.

My Take-Away

In the case of Miss A, she has limit on less 10 bars of chocolate more than that will make her hate chocolate, it will disgust her. That reasoning of economics is not only help in my economics class but also on real life. We all know about the wisdom to speak about greediness, that we need to be full aware about our consumption, that we do not need that much.

That virtuous study about ethics and live in altruism sometimes makes people roles their eyes as if it’s some of “Whoo whoo” thing, but it is proven and justified by one of social science, economics. Philosopher said, it takes courage to have a step back reasoning about things that happen, because it challenges someone else’s way of thinking. In the case of diminishing return, even businessman oftentimes cast this disciplines away. My hypothesis about that? This kind of people will take advantage about the situation, while they (maybe I used to be one of them) still have a chance until the course of science take it all away.

What I still don’t understand is, why they’re reluctant to adopt it when the fact and science is laid upon them.

Thank you for reading, I hope you get insight from this


About The Resilience — Push Through Force

Push it through, even when you don’t want to

Credits For Creative Market (Pexel.com)


In contrary, it’s HARD, PAINFUL, SUFFOCATING experience. Silence Scream. That is the moment, we would encountered when we committed to our “Craft” and do something to make it happen. Because nothing’s remarkable comes in summer air breeze, an ice cream maybe, something that matter? probably not.

We know about the good slogan we grew up with, about people empowerment, even we sing about that. Remember the Playful lyrics, yet VERY POWERFUL that comes from The King (Of Pop)? About “Make A Change” and “Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough”, well it is not just an ear-biscuit if you’re willing to drill deeper. It’s a fact of how a mastery of art was born, it requires whole energy and willingness to rush into the uncertainty and don’t stop till we really push it through, to be resilient.

In this very day, we can have an abundance of information and lesson-learnt from all over the world. The connection revolution has overcame the asymmetric-information problem.

Now the door is opened for us, to find what we want, what we like and also a place to whining. Like two side of knives, the connection revolution bring us two options (1) Options to use it as a chance to lead, to build a tribe and solve common problem with common solution, or (2) to have an endless scroll and then whining, summed-up with trying to look like someone we don’t know.

Social-media grooming brings fun of course, with the endless options of good pictures in one swipe-away. But with the law of opportunity-cost, we can’t have all at one time, so when we chose to spend our most valuable resources (TIME), with scrolling that brings no value to us, we are losing another options that might bring us to the next level of our self, our personal growth.

Now, how can the scrolling, social grooming activities relates to resilience? I hope we realize that we tend to chose an easy way to “Escape” to our stress-free place, now to be able to escape is so easy with one click. When we really pushing our self to make our art, work scale-up or finishing project that we’ve been dreaming off, we got blockage with the hardship and pain.

But instead of push it through, we chose our easy-button to press it and goes into stress-free zone to fly and feel good about our self. Guess what? that feeling good sensation is a short-term, once we got back the problem is still exists and our pain for unleashing our TRUE ART is replaced by the pain of being empty of soul of creation. I guess when it comes to our personal development about to feel good about our self there can’t be an easy-button.

We need to rush into what painful for us, because on that direction transformation will come. — Inspired by Glennon Doyle Melton

This writing is dedicated for every one that having turmoil, facing uncertainty and challenging the status quo in their achieving journey, to do something that matters.

I hope it’s insightful


Welcome to the Connection Economy The New Normal — The Age of Generosity

???????? RGB
Credit for Image From : Here Are 7 Ways Women Can Take Advantage of the Sharing Economy

The rising of connection economy is unquestionably laid upon us. It opens us a new phenomenon about new things, something that we haven’t heard of before, something remarkable. So what Connection Economy really is? There are a lot of people using its product or services of sharing economy or being inside that environment, yet they’re not aware of it.

For those of you, including myself, that have been yearning of change, change for the better and have been putting desire for the existence of “tools” that will empower us to make our art, to create change that we seek for. I want to help to uncover the very possibility to this new normal, how and why it can replace the “Price Maker”, the industrialist.

The Industrial Age

Previously, goods and services are provided by a economic agent that we’ve known as a Supplier/Producer. They are the long-established firms that have been spending their capital on the production cost to make to production happened and then deliver the goods and services. That’s how the cycle of the market, how the value distributed. Now, with the typical industrialist thing, due to its high cost of production, they need to make its inflow-outflow capital as efficient as it might be. How they gonna do it? By massive production, creating more goods as supply and have the price goes down and also have an efficient wages for the worker.

Maximizing output, maximizing productivity. And when it comes to productivity, it means how much their worker can produce per hour. The more production its labor produce per hour → the more productive they are → The more profit. And the cycle is also being done by disrupting consumer. How? By teaching consumer to consume and that’s how it creates the wheel.

Of course nothing’s wrong with pushing productivity, that’s how our parents, our ancestor can earn a living. But the wheel and the greediness of industrial subliminally is also grinding another aspect of our humanity essence. Without our consent it corrupt our essence of human to share, to give to embracing our culture. Or, if we do realize about what’s happening, We do not have that much choice. We need goods and services to live → Here they comes as a single, powerful provider. And for years, Industrialist has been ruled the market, but will it last forever?

For the sake of productivity, it replaces something that we value, human connection. It is replaced by an AUTOMATION. At first, it is convenient but be ready to be surrounded of the vacuum of spirit, be ready for the shortage of compassion.

The Connection Economy

Now, Thank God, that times is finally over. The moment that put us, as the consumer to have least power to chose, to become a price taker or got nothing to do for the bad services is OVER. Now, with revolution of connectivity, someone, some one with keen eyes see another opportunity but now, they are different from the industrialist. Instead of putting people as the taker, they put us as something more powerful.

It gives us the opportunity, the platform for sharing, connect in the real problem we have. I am talking about Airbnb, Google, Udemy, all the platform that provide us to do something that we’ve been yearning of, yet is blockage because we have few choice.

That is generosity, to give, to provide. The new problem is, do we realize that it emphasizing the generous aspect, because if we don’t we use it as a tools for the opposite function it can leverage. We use our digital connection to : looked like someone else, to manipulate, to whine.

Is it really who we are as the new society?

I hope it gives a glimpse of insight. And there’s nothing I can write about this, if not inspired by my virtual teacher Seth Godin.


We’re Not Only Have One Road Map

Haydn Shaughnessy, Forbes, Creative Economy

Embracing New Normal, New Economy, Creative Economy

It is too narrow to see that Google is not producing goods or services as a company”, that argument comes from one of economist in a discussion of creative economy to another one that speculate about digital solution. The critics said that nowadays, business start to shift into a practice of rent-seeking as opposed to producing. That notion is based on the fact that google or any other digital services use their user to generates content, that makes the user become their labor.

Is it wrong? Is it right? Well, everybody has their own opinion about this. In economy, we care about allocation of resources and one of the main focus of allocation is about producing goods or services through market. Industrial thing. Industrial age has won a place to allocate goods to people for the whole time, until internet things happened. It changes everything, it also disrupt the road, the flow that’d been exists forever.

Since then, we’re not only have one road map of life anymore

What Google does is indeed not creating goods machine factory, or a services like what call center does. Digital thing, successful and impactful one, create concept or ideas that makes people live an easier live. It allow us to make a smarter wiser buying decision that we might can not do before. It provides solution for us that need to find information to make decision, through the algorithm they have. The fact that people gravitate towards Google is the fact that Google gains people trust. And that what we call creative economy.

Long time ago, not everyone has means of production, not every one has capital to build factory. That kind of people became a worker, a labor, cheap and had weak bargaining power. All of that substance that stick to labor made them had no much choices to take, that’s why they must comply. Obedient.

My favorite Teacher and Thought Leader, Seth Godin says that kind of people are “Obedient Worker”. Industrial concept make people who has capital (land, money or machine) become the boss, while people who have no such fortune become a cock, a small part of machine that needs only to do what they told to and obey the instructions.

Since the birth of the world wide web and an evolution of Internet, Google and Facebook, etc. That old rules of Industrialization is broken, a new opportunity for people to show up and grab the privilege of a New Means of Production came. And that is digital connection. Now with only around $500, people can buy a laptop and connect to the internet to publish their own writing, to create a movement. We need less resource and more options now than ever before.

Welcome to the connection economy, the new economy, the time where we have abundance of resources, cheaper means of production and information that available for us to allow us to do the thing we’ve been yearning to do. Now the remaining question is do we chose to allow what’s in it in us to be unleashed and make our self becoming the means of our genius to do its work.

If not, if we not grabbing this gift to do something that matters, to contribute to community, to be matters. Then what’s the reason?

I hope you like the message, please leave feedback if it’s resonate with you.

Build collective compassion society.


Through The Lens of A Wise Man

Tariq Ramadhan on Reconciliation of Spirituality, Religion and Ethics

Living in very fast paced moment of life often times used to make me like having lack of sense of humanity. Over and over, I felt as someone who corrupted at the very soul level which hinder me to tap into the sense of generosity, humble and RESPECT and more importantly the meaning of life.

As one of the “Y” generation or some people call Millennial, I proclaim myself as part of generation who’s considered as a “Tech-Savy”, Lazy, Complex, incapable of commitment, yet eager to find meanings in life. I am not positioning myself to agree or disagree on the definition of millennial, but I am very concern on the last part.

Find Meanings of Your Life. Concise, yet very strong and powerful affirmation.

I spent a lot of time of my recent adulthood life to strive for seeking meaning in my life. I started by questioning the reason of my existence here on the earth, asking the meaning of my job, the prolonged injustice that led to be going-on and on and also “What-is-it-for” question for almost every existences on earth. Later on, I realized that I was seeking the purpose of my life.

Like any other person who got a phase of a “seeker”, I drag my self into a spiritual journey. And did you realized that I said “Spiritual”, not Religion. Yes, that’s what I did when I witnessed injustice being performed and undertaken disrespect action by people who’s considered religious. Hence I repel religious ritual, I walked on the path of spirituality that I thought the purest thing on human soul. That’s the first time I met meditation and all of Yoga thing.

I found the tremendous of benefit and peaceful sensation in myself on my first attempt to become a “Spiritual — Human Being”. I took meditation every morning and contemplated during the night. It was nice but it did not last. Not for me. The emptiness, anxiety and depressed hit me again, put me in the same position that I had before. By that time, I was pretty devastating. I started doubting the spiritual concept to gain peace and wisdom. And that’s also the time when I got back to the religious concept.

The concept of making a habitual activity ( routine, ritual) that discipline myself, push me to keep on track to the altruism essence of human being. Recently, I found a beautiful lecture from one of the wisest, smartest thinker in the world, Tariq Ramadhan that teach people about the concept of reconciliation of three most important aspect of life to gain the essence of living as human in civilization.

Spirituality, Religion and Ethics. Three components that must not separated to gain the stage of life understanding that we want. On that lecture, He said that spirituality is all about knowing our self and understand about us as living-being. Meanwhile, religion is something that bind Human-Being to becoming not fair for themselves, it limits our action for our own sake. The last points is ethic, it is about putting meanings in our life.

My believe system is calibrated after watching the lecture. On that very moment, I realize that we need all of that three to derive the essence of our humanity. That’s makes me realize to have an understanding for each other, to have trust and live hand in hand to build society.

Becoming more resilient when the uncertainty happen but courageous enough to stand-upon the voiceless and the undignified human-being.

That’s one of my favorite teds-talk session. I hope you like the message.

Build collective compassion society.


Becoming The Subject of Our Own History

Fighting The Ignorance — Challenging The Status Quo

Through history, we witness a diverse historical moments that pushing human life into a better way. The event where someone show up for what he believe, speak up and gathering compassion to fight the injustice that happen around him and his community will always become history. That kind of people, people who can’t stay still witnessing inequality, they become the voice of the voiceless. The warrior.

If Malcolm X did not speak up and stand up about the equal right of black people to defend them selves and gaining the same opportunity of education and other opportunity, maybe we can’t see the diversity of intellectual product or arts from black community. But it didn’t happen easily

A warrior shows up for what they believe, stand-up and being bold to fight the ignorance, they challenge the status quo. We can take a lot of example from previous courageous man who won’t let the society letting one community become better-off while the other becoming worsen-off. But through history as well, we know people like that were dealing with anguish and despair because it’s hard to challenge the status-quo, especially when the revolution will challenge people who has power (The Price Maker, The Monopolist)

So it is easier to let the injustice and the inequality as it is, as long as it doesn’t affected our life or our family’s life. It easier to become passive and being greedy for our self and community. Well, if it happen then I think it is fair enough to say that we’re not really different with a previous man before us that apparently has lot of difficulties to challenge the status-quo then it makes us less powerful, more ignorant than them.

When now, we are living a moment of life where we’re just one-click away to take action, yet we’re still doing the thing that only benefiting us or sometimes has no benefit at all. Just for fun.

Is it what we are? Someone who seek only for fun at the end of the day? Receiving money at the end of the month to spent it into more fun?

Having fun is good, earning money at the end of the month is good. But only and only if we’re not stay still when we look someone does not have the same opportunity just because they’re less unfortunate than us. By only realizing that concept, we can start putting meanings to our action to be more ethical in what we do to put value in our work.